walang kwenta... lalo na yung mga iniisip ko.. walang kulay.. BLACK and WHITE.. taena.. sus! ang epal ng sarili ko... ineepalan ang sariling isipan.. hindi ko ba alam.. distorted masyado ang utak ko.. taena naguguluhan ako.. lalo na pagdating sa mga bagay na alam ko naman na makakasakit saakin eh tuloy pa rin ako.. di ko ba alam.. siguro hanggat hindi talaga nadadala at hindi talagang sobrang nasasaktan ay tuloy pa rin.. putcha! di ko alam... sandali.. may-iisahare ako sayo.. eto.. lam mo ba to?! basahin mo ng mabuti.. ayoko ng may ma-mimiss ka... eto oh... You're the star that always shines on me outside my door. You're the one that I can see. I love the way.. Oh yes, the way.. You comfort me.. So take me.. To a place whereI need to see.. Yun.. di pa tapos yan.. pero sandali.. wait a minute.. star? ano ba ito? bituin? tala? taena.. maliwanag ito.. lam mo ba yung araw? star un.. malaki.. sobrang laki.. kasing laki ng ulo mo.. na punong-puno ng kalokohan.. un. yung tao diyan star.. star ng buhay ko... maliwanag kasi xa.. parang ilaw.. nagbibigay kislap sa daan na tatahakin ko.. tapos un.. eto na yung kasunod... Gave you my love and I don't know If I can be saved.. Feelin' so down it's so hard... Don't want you fadin' away.. oh yan ung aksunod.. pero meron pa.. magintay ka lang.. mahina kalaban.. yan.. lam mo ba yan.. yung STAR na iyon... kala ko ayos na.. kala ko iilawan niya nga yung daan ko.. pero ewan ko.. nakakagulo.. parang gusto niyang kumawala.. parang gustong mang-iwan.. yung parang gustong bumitaw dun sa pagkakahawak sa mga kamay ko... un.. oh.. eto na ulit yung kasunod.. sundan mo ng mabuti... I feel you in my bones you're killing me inside... you're always on my mind... Yeah I'll be here tonight.. I want to be like you... The way you made it through.. I'm screaming this for you... I feel you down inside... No one can take this away from me...I see your face and I'll be here to stay.. I look up and I think about those days.. Well those days are gone... They're gone too far away.... un.. nasundan mo ba? gago diba? ang laking kalokohan.. yung star ko.. lumayo.. umalis... chumupi.. sumibat.. nag-outing.. nag-shopping.. nag-cr.. nag-taxi.. nag-fx.. yung.. umalis siya.. pero kita mo.. dun pa lang ang hirap ng kalimutan.. nakakaasar.. naasar na tuloy ako... kasi diba.. hirap kalimutan kapag talagang sobrang nahawakan niya yung buhay mo.. yung tipong walang eepal sa inyong dalawa.. pero yung ang akala mo.. kasi ung taong malapit saeio.. yung taong sobrang mong minahal ay siya pa ang gagago sayo... well.. ganyan ang buhay.. sabi nga..DALAWANG KLASE LANG NG TAO ANG NABUBUHAY SA MUNDO.. ang NAGPAPALOKO at MANLOLOKO.. siguro... kabilang ako dun sa naloko... yung naisahan.. hehe.. kaasar..
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 6:52 PM!
I dont know how many times I have ran out of water in my system.. dehydrated.. crying everytime your in my head.. i dont wanna think about you but your stuck in me.... I miss the days I was laying in my bed... talking to myself about you.. it just makes me complete.. It's just you in my senses.. Sneaking behing rooms and shadows just to sleep with you.. Maybe that's the craziest thing that did for you.. But now, I just have think about it... I miss the days I can feel you in my skin... When anytime I can hug you tight and dont let go... Those were my days.. Just one more time and i'm goin' to prove it.. I'm gonna prove to you wrong that I can live without you... coz' definetely I can't. And I wont. I wish I could bring back those days... I wish there were those days I thought I should I have controlled my grip.. never letting go of your fingers... all this time we argued why I don't want to hold you tight and wrap my fingers but now... even if you hold my hand.. guess what?!.. guess you wont have them again coz' I wont let it go.. Not until you say yes... Not until you say you love me again.. and not until you 'll say your willing to risk. Everyday I see you far beyond.. I see you in my dreams.. Guess I have to lie down.. Think of you until I fall asleep... Dream of you and those days... And when its time for me to wake up.. It's you again.. Just You.. Only YOU.. hehehe.. yan... gago diba.. kasing gago ko?! wala na akong mailigay. susunod na lang ulit...
they told me i'm no good. okay, i am. they told me i couldn't do it. fine, i can't. they told me i couldn't be with you. fine i couldn't.
as if.
society sucks.... sorry to all those sociopaths out there. but there's got to be more to life than this heap of shit. them telling you who you are and who you ought to be. failing to listen to your cries as your soul is stripped, bare of all the goodness you once held in your skin. norms of what-the-fuck-is-that to follow~~~!? god, stop all this maniacism and get over yourselves. society does NOT bring out the best, rather THE WORST IN YOU.
so stop thinking `bout what the fuck society thinks. think for yourself and get it over with!!! life has more to it than parties, bar hoppings and whatever. shit happens to those who are so conscious of the criticisms of society.... like who the fuck cares!?!?!?!?!
shut up bitch (though i am one) and buy yourself a new pair of shoes. those are just too darn smelly of all your conquests. here's a penny and get it over with.
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 2:26 AM!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
You want to know more, more, more about me I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine I'm the one that's honking at you 'cause i left late again
Hey! hey! hey!
Can't you see i want you by the way i push you away, yeah! Don't judge me tomorrow by the way i'm acting Take the words up with the actions deal with all for your reaction, yeah!
Hey! hey!
Get tangled up in me
You want to know more, more, more about me Got to know reverse psychology I'm the reason why you can't get to sleep I'm the girl you never get just quite what you see
Hey! hey! hey! Can't you see i want you by the way i push you away, yeah! Don't judge me tomorrow by the way i'm acting Take the words up with the actions deal with all for your reaction, yeah!
Hey! hey!
Get tangled up in me
You think that you know me (get tangled up in me) You think that i'm lonely (get tangled up in me) When everything i do is only to get tangled up in you...
You want to know more, more, more about me I 'm the girl that's sweeping you off your feet
Hey! hey! hey! Can't you see i want you by the way i push you away, yeah! Don't judge me tomorrow by the way i'm acting Take the words up with the actions deal with all for your reaction, yeah!
Hey! hey!
Get tangled up in me
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 4:31 PM!
Friday, May 20, 2005
i love the limelight. i love chocolates. i love the color black. i love bitches and bastards. i love body art, piercings and tattoos. i love mystery. i love losers. i love the internet. i love money. i love the people who dare to be different. i love the underground. i love the music of kiss and metallica. i love nighttime. i love the moon and the stars. i love the midnight sky. i love alternative rock. i love push-overs. i love to raise an eyebrow to all those pricks out there. i love chaos. i love war. i love anger and hate. i love revenge. i love being weird. i love the people who dare to be weird and are proud about it. i love science, chemistry at most. i love ultraviolet lights. i love my contacts. i love the 1960's. i love dressing in the dark. i love to look at the 102 ocean avenue, amityville. i love to kick ass. i love to prick someone's bubble. i love being naughty. i love being the hell-bearer for all men. i love nightmares. i love being traitored.
i love everything. everything but you.
******
i have a knack for guitars. i have a dozen stuffed animals. i have tons of black shirts, pants and shoes. i have to get all i want. i have to be the worst in all aspects, positive or negative alike. i have the worst karma. i have the sickest soul alive. i have the greatest self-criticism. i have the best recipe for mushroom soup. i have an unlimited supply of negativity. i have the greatest record of pessimism. i have a bad attitude. i have the worst case of drunkeness and intoxication. i have too many problems. i have friends who love to hate me. i have friends who hate to love me, too. i have the worst judgment of people. i have a very bad eyesight. i have one-fourth inch thick glasses.
i have everything. everything but you.
****** I LOVE BEING DIFFERENT.
****** i hate sluts and whores. i hate people who have an extremely high superiority complex that they're just "too good" for eveyone else. i hate posers. i hate jack-asses. i hate those who think witchcraft is satanism. i hate people who criticize me. i hate comparisons. i hate thoughtfulness. i hate "conyo". i hate pretentions. i hate traitors. i hate liars. i hate superficially acclaimed "idols". i hate fuckers. i hate untoward kindness. i hate kindness. i hate judgmental people who think they know me oh-so-well. i hate karma. i hate living. i hate the day. i hate sunshine. i hate forgiveness. i hate normal people. i hate the color red, green and brown. i hate society. i hate egoistic people even if i'm the biggest ego-maniac in history.
i hate myself for being me. a generous martyr. a forgiving angel. a psycho. one hell of a person, too complicated for your minds to contemplate.
you are one hell of a lying traitor. cheaters suck.
shit.
just go to hell.
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 9:46 PM!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
sometimes life throws punches at you that you just can't duck.... the more you squeeze your way outta them, the more they hurt.... and the more you steer yourself clear away from them, the more the bump you in the shins....
life just isn't fair....
that's just it, ayt!?
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 7:37 AM!
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Okay…. I told you na I’m going to update you on what happened sa orientation ko…. Hai…. Asteeg!! Yung enrollment ko muna…
So last may 11, nagpunta ko sa UP Diliman to enroll… it was sorta nakakaasar kasi I missed a day of work…. Hai…. Wala tuloy sweldo for that day…. Anyway, god it was freakin hot!!!! I got pissed off pa by this guy who was continuously following me…. Yun pala freshman din siya and hinahanap lang niya yung college of science…. Hmmm…. Bute na lang CS din ako…. Hehe…
Sa this guy, fred, kasama ko siya for the whole day…. Sa briefing namen sa CS nagkahiwalay kami for a while pero he waited for me to finish yung advising para daw “sabay kame mag-enroll”…. Haha…
Fred is from de la sale greenhills… hmmm…. Galeng noh!?
Anyway, bs math siya…
Tapos when we got to palma hall na to pay the freakin matriculation fees which was only *tada!* 6741 pesos!!!! Wahaha…. And I asked my mom for 10k…. haha…. Mautak ito noh…
So yun nga… yun na yung enrollment.
Except for the shitty ass thing…. MALI PO YUNG TRANSCRIPT NA BINIGAY SAKEN NG OLOPSC.
Screw you.
Orientation the next day naman….
Hai…. Aus naman…. The day was still freakin hot… when I got to econ, I was so soaked by my own god-lovin sweat…. At least I smelled nice paren…. Hmmm….
So dun sa orientation, there were four hosts na super energetic… not to mention overly bading yung tatlo and pretty naman yung girl…
Ooooh….. I so want to be a host of next year’s freshie orientation…
Pero the highlight was….
THE UP PEP SQUAD!!!
I have this super-mega-overly-obsessive crush on the head drummer!!!
Here’s how it happened…
I was seated dun sa pinakagilid ng row namen, near the wall… and this aisle I was adjacent to was dinadaanan nung mga nagpupunta sa stage…. So there I was…
And this guy in maong pants and a white shirt suddenly appeared next to me and said…
“freshie ka?”
haller…. Like I would be there if I wasn’t!?!?!
but, hell, he was smilin` and stuff…. Fuck, he looked good!!! So all I said was…
“yahp.”
*grin*
then some shitty ass people in the same get up arrived and our moment was spoiled… ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Like almost!?
Turns out he was the HEAD DRUMMER of the UP PEP SQUAD!!!
God… freakin` hell yeah!!!
Hahaha!!
And while he was on stage lookin` godly and sexy, he was glancing at me, smiling` and waving…
But I didn’t even catch his name…
Fuck.
And when I got outside, he WAS there…. With all his posse…. And as he was making his way towards me…. Smiling the hell off…
I got ushered into a tour bus and was whisked away from him…
ARRRRRRGGGGHHH!!!
I curse the tour guide!!!
Kaya nga I’ve been dieting the hell off…. I lost five pounds already!!! I even bought these three boxes of ballerina pills…. Just to lose weight!!
Just bring me down to 100 pounds and I’m happy…
I WILL TRY OUT FOR THE PEP SQUAD.
I’ll look for him, first thing when I go back to school!!!!
Hehe…. =)
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 4:30 AM!
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I AM DESPERATE TO LOSE WEIGHT.
grabe, i even bought THREE boxes of ballerina pills....
ngek as if nmn na di kta namimiz..heheh..thnx 4 d testi.
ang cute ng picture moh mukang sadako.heheh
dont think dat no bodies mizzin u coz u dont know how much we miz u hehehe,,,...yngat olwayz..lolz...hehehe
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 10:49 PM!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
"gwapo!"
that was the first word that came to my mind when i saw him... asteeg... ang gwapo!!!!
i now have this ultra-mega-suppah crush on a person i do not even know... hahaha... basta all i know is HEAD DRUMMER SIYA NG UP PEP SQUAD.
kaya nga todo ako sa diet just to get in shape eh... i am also doing my best to whiten all my brownish spots (sa knees, elbows... you get my drift, ayt???) para naman i look good when i audition for a spot in the pep squad!!!
wakokoz...
pero parang i don't need to diet that much kasi i have had worked for ony six days and i lost FIVE pounds...
whoa, that didn't need much effort!!! usually, i need to exercise and eat only once a day just to lose TWO pounds... wakokoz.... hehehe...
back to the mega-guy... di ko lam name niya!!! i was searching the net for their official website or whatever pero walang lumalabas.... nakakainis!!!
but my orientation yesterday was so kewl!!! pano naman, when the pep squad taught us the cheers and stuff, i was so excited!!! grabe, i need to hear the drums talaga! pano kasi, whenever i hear the beat of the drum, my adrenaline keeps on pumping and i feel great!!
i need that spot on the pep squad!!!
hmmm.... need to take extra ballet lessons!!!!
***next time na yung sa enrollment, may work pa ko eh!! *grin*
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 6:09 PM!
Friday, May 06, 2005
may trabaho na ko.... yakies....
takas lang to noh.... sayang internet.... wakokoz...
yukichiyu screamed her lungs out at 12:52 AM!
the imperfectionist *
yukichiyu
this blog's still
under reconstruction
just bear with me HARDstuff!
okies?
i'll be there...
tsktsk..
